Life often brings us through seasons we never anticipated. Some are filled with joy, while others lead us into valleys so deep that it’s hard to see a way out. For many, including myself, the battle with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts has been one of the darkest valleys.
But even in those moments—when everything feels heavy and hopeless—God is present, weaving His redemptive story through the pain. If you find yourself there right now, I want to remind you: God has not abandoned you. He is faithful, and there is hope.
My Journey: Brokenness, Restoration, and God’s Faithfulness
I didn’t grow up in what most would consider a “typical” Christian home. My parents divorced when I was young, and though we didn’t attend church regularly, God was still present in our lives in ways I didn’t fully understand until later.
My dad and stepmom weren’t churchgoers, but they allowed me to attend with friends when I wanted to. I’m grateful for that because, looking back, I see how those small seeds of faith took root. My dad would read us Bible stories at night, and my mom, even in the midst of her own struggles with alcoholism, would bring us to church when she was sober and fill our home with Christian music.
Though my childhood was tough, and certain wounds carried into adulthood, I believe my parents did their best. The foundation they gave me, however imperfect, prepared me to find my own faith in Christ later in life.
As an adult, especially after having children, some of those old traumas resurfaced. Anxiety, depression, and feelings of being overwhelmed started to creep into my everyday life, taking root in ways I never expected. It was as though I was being pulled under by an unseen force, and I couldn’t find my footing. The spiritual warfare I faced became very real, manifesting in crippling anxiety that landed me in the hospital.
There were countless times I questioned my worth and purpose, crying out to God, "Why am I still here? Wouldn’t they be better off without me?" I believed the lie that my mental health struggles would cause more harm than good.
But God—He was faithful, even when I couldn’t see it.
The Healing Power of God’s Word
In the midst of those dark moments, when the weight of anxiety and depression felt unbearable, I clung to the Word of God. Scripture became my anchor, my lifeline, reminding me that even when I felt unseen, unheard, and overwhelmed, God had not abandoned me.
"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
This verse brought me so much comfort. When I felt crushed by the weight of my struggles, God was nearby. He wasn’t distant or removed from my pain. He was right there, holding me together when I felt like I was falling apart.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." – Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
There were times when I couldn’t see the future, when I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. But this promise from God reminded me that His plans are good. Even when my present reality seemed bleak, He was working behind the scenes, crafting a future filled with hope.
"The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." – Exodus 14:14 (ESV)
So many times, I felt too weak to keep fighting, but God reminded me that the battle was never mine alone. He was fighting for me, even when all I could do was stand still and trust Him.
Purpose in the Pain: Breaking Chains and Generational Curses
Through all of this, I began to see that God wasn’t just keeping me alive—He was giving me purpose. He was using my story, my struggles, and even my darkest moments to break chains and generational curses that had plagued my family for years.
I prayed fervently for my mom to overcome her addiction, and by God’s grace, I have witnessed her journey toward sobriety and healing. She is now sober, and I’m seeing the power of God’s restorative hand in ways I never imagined.
God has used me in other ways, too—through my children as I raise them to know and love Jesus, and through my social media presence, where I share my journey openly. I’ve felt called to be vulnerable, to show others that they’re not alone in their struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. God is using my story, my wounds, to encourage others and point them to the One who heals.
Jesus: The Light in the Darkest Valley
There were times when I broke down in tears to my husband, feeling like I couldn’t go on another day. I felt defeated, overwhelmed, and ready to give up. I told him that if it weren’t for the Word of God, I didn’t believe I’d still be here. But God never let go. He pulled me out of the darkest valleys and continued to be my light when I couldn’t see a way forward.
Jesus has taken every shattered piece of my life and is creating something beautiful. Though some chapters of my life have been marked by utter darkness, He is faithful to rewrite those moments into something glorious. He has always been good, even when I couldn’t see it.
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." – Matthew 11:28 (ESV)
Jesus invites all of us who are weary and burdened to come to Him, and in Him, we find rest. His rest is real, His love is unending, and His grace is sufficient for every struggle.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re reading this and feeling the weight of suicidal thoughts, anxiety, or depression, please know that you are not alone. The enemy wants you to believe that you’re isolated and worthless, but the truth is, you are chosen, loved, and have a purpose that only God can fulfill.
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." – Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)
God has created you for good works, and He has a plan for your life, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Your story matters. You matter.
In Christ, we are made new. In Him, we have a future and a hope. If you’re struggling today, reach out for help, lean into His Word, and trust that He is holding the watering can—growing flowers even in the darkest valleys.
I’m here to pray with you and for you. If you’re walking through a difficult season, know that God is walking with you. Let’s hold onto His promises together and trust that He is faithful to heal, restore, and redeem every part of our story.
Sincerely, Sabreena